Post holiday blues…

I’ve been back in the country less than 24 hours and I’m moaning already. What the bloody bejeezus is going on with this weather? I am not impressed. Safe to say I had a wonderful time in Kos, it was sunny and beautiful and now I’m thoroughly fed up of being back here. 

My sad, I’m back in wet England wearing a fur jacket face.
I must admit, as wonderful as it was, I was in the grips of some major PMT and although I tried not to let it spoil the holiday, it can be really hard to clear the fog so-to-speak. And I’ll be completely honest, my body confidence took a knock, I was bloated and fed up, I felt like the hugest person to have walked the earth, I really had give myself a serious talking to. There was no way in hell I was going to let that niggling voice get the better of me. 
The reality was I was one of many big girls that holiday, the majority of which were rocking their swimsuits and bikini’s with pride, which is exactly what I knew I had to do. I don’t know if it was the PMT, the pressure of my first holiday abroad for 5 years or what but for some reason I was being very hard on myself. So I guess what I’m trying to say is, even those of us who come across as super confident and carefree still have wobble days, where the strongest of wills can be crushed by a bad photo, or a quick glance in the mirror. 
So here are some pics of me, I’m not stood in a flattering pose, I’ve got no make up on, my hair is a mess. But you know what? Fuck it. It’s me, I’m on a bloody gorgeous beach with my bloody gorgeous family, that’s a whole lot of fabulous right there. 

Additional note: I’ve had so much lovely feedback about this post, thank you!!! And through discussion on Facebook i just wanted to add to the post to say – Will my little girl look back at our holiday and think “gosh my mummy was so fat, why did she wear a swimming costume” or will she look back and think “I loved holding my mummy’s hand and jumping off the side of the pool, building sand castles and being wrapped up in her arms when I got out of the sea”. I know it will be the latter. Don’t let your lack of confidence stop you making memories. Life is too short to sit back and watch other people have fun.

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  1. ReeRee Rockette on May 28, 2014 at 9:49 pm

    I'm so jealous of your holiday! One of my goals this year is to rest on a beach, glad you had a lovely time (bikini issues aside!) x

    • Becky Barnes on May 28, 2014 at 9:59 pm

      It was so wonderful, after 5 years of UK holidays I was ready for a bit of sun, but I know how hard it can be to get a break when you're self-employed. We'd booked this before we even knew we were opening up the shop, so was lucky to get cover so we could still go. I hope you get your beach wish!! x x

  2. Tom Wood on May 28, 2014 at 10:06 pm

    U look great hun. Im 6ft tall, 14 stone with a toned, v-shaped torso & I have wobble days too. Not becauae Ive ever been big but because I was always the inder weight skinny runt as a kid.

    What Im teying to say is that people are jusemental as a whole (part of the human condition) so fat, thin, short or tall we are all constantly being judged on our appearance. The one thing everyone respects in life though is confidence and your attitude towards body and the confidence u show os an absolute inspiration for us all to admire. You totally rocked your bikini and swimsuit. Love your blog & love your attitude 🙂

    • Becky Barnes on May 28, 2014 at 10:12 pm

      Aww Thank you Tom, what an absolutely lovely comment. It's really appreciated!! It's true, I have friends of all shapes and sizes that are very hard on themselves and it's sad that we're made to feel like that. X x x

  3. kaytee on May 28, 2014 at 10:10 pm

    I LOVE you !!!!

    I love seeing your natural un posed pictures and your insecurities that the rest of us mere mortals have! You look lovely and the beach is beautiful x

    • Becky Barnes on May 28, 2014 at 10:14 pm

      Ha ha ha! Thanks Kaytee, love you too!! It's not easy being body confident all the time we all take a knock now and then x x

  4. Mrs Shilts on May 28, 2014 at 10:50 pm

    Love this post!! Why the heck can't you go on holiday and enjoy sunning yourself in your bikini, you rock! Fabulous photos x

    • Becky Barnes on May 29, 2014 at 7:55 am

      Thanks lovely! X x

  5. Patty_difusa on May 28, 2014 at 11:32 pm

    You look lovely, we all have bad days but I'm sure you had a fab time, I'm going away wit bf to a beach holiday abroad for the 1st time in 6 years together!! I'm excited but nervous at the same time I want to look great but sometimes your self-esteem can be a birch a nd let u down xx

    • Patty_difusa on May 28, 2014 at 11:34 pm

      *bitch not birch bloody autocorrect!

    • Becky Barnes on May 29, 2014 at 7:56 am

      Ha ha auto correct sucks! I think most girls even the slim ones have moments of doubt and nervousness, I guess you have to make a decision about how you want to live your life, and if you want to enjoy it and embrace, or hide in the corner. I choose embrace!! x x

  6. Just me Leah on May 29, 2014 at 12:14 am

    I'm sorry your PMT was being a scallywag, but I have to say I fucking love you for getting out there, putting the swimwear on and sharing it with the rest of us. Inspirational, Bebes! Now if the weather stops being an arseferret you can get a bit of sun over here as well. x x

    • Becky Barnes on May 29, 2014 at 7:58 am

      Thanks doll, it's a bloody pain in the bum (or the ovaries) but couldn't let it spoil things! God I do hope it sorts it's shit out, I can't bare any more rain and darkness!!! x xx

  7. JemsyMc on May 29, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    You look absolutely incredible and look like you all had an amazing holiday. You're a true inspiration xxx

  8. JemsyMc on May 29, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    You look absolutely incredible and look like you all had an amazing holiday. You're a true inspiration xxx

  9. linnea on May 29, 2014 at 7:30 pm

    You are amazing! I need your body confidence to take my baby swimming, and your post is pushing me closer to take him so thank you. X